Meeting people going through similar situations has helped
It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post and I’ve had a bit of a crappy week so thought I’d write something positive to remember the progress I’ve made – even if it’s just been little steps.
Throughout March I’ve been attending Cloud Nine’s meditation sessions (and eating a lot of homemade cake in their cafe!) as part of a trial to see if it can help with my mental health conditions. With me being off work I thought ‘F it!’ I’ve got nothing to loose. Let’s give this meditation malarky a go.
I had always been a bit of a sceptic when it came to meditation, believing my issues and symptoms were too deep routed to fix by simply breathing and ‘imagining things in your head.’
My opinion on this has changed after just four weeks.
If you haven’t given meditation a go -DO IT!
Even just for breathing and relaxing your muscles which sounds like common sense but it’s amazing how we forget how to breathe properly! It’s a life skill you need to learn, trust me.
I’ve been going about three mornings a week. They have a lovely meditation room with sofas and beanbags and it smells amazing!
I know meditation won’t cure me but it gives me some respite from my emotions for that 45 minute session where I feel completely relaxed.
I think the whole Cloud Nine experience has helped me alongside their meditation sessions. Rachel and Susan are lovely and totally put everyone at ease. No-one is judged, you are listened too and are not pressurised to share anything about yourself if you don’t want to. The whole place is so calming and I feel really safe there. I’ve made some great friends over coffee after the meditation sessions, people who are going through similar experiences as myself which has been really comforting and reassuring.
One morning after a meditation session, I overheard two people talking about booking in their next Reiki sessions. I peered over my book and latte glass and eavesdropped for a while. What is ‘reekee?’ I couldn’t even pronounce it. Having no idea what it was and what I was getting myself in to, I booked my own session in with Rachel.
The treatment room I was taken into was so relaxing, with stars projected onto the ceiling and a lovely light that looks like a cloud. I lay on the massage bed and was told to close my eyes. I could smell lovely essential oils and as Rachel worked her energy magic on my forehead and down to my feet I could feel a difference and my tension definitely started to lift. It’s so relaxing!
I was really nervous for my first session and I have this weird habit of laughing when I’m anxious so I was biting my lip through most of it. Turns out I had nothing to be anxious about and because of this, my second session was even more relaxing.
It’s true the way they describe it – it’s like when your phone needs charging up – our energy needs this too.
As well as meditation, I’ve been referred to a Mind Well-being group where people with mental health conditions can learn skills to deal with emotional resilience etc. I barely uttered two words during my first week but I’ve started to get to know the people in the group now after 2 weeks. I’m the youngest by quite a bit but its good to share experiences with different people.
For my first 2 weeks we’ve been doing crafts which I’ve loved. We have been making shoebox sanctuaries, featuring things that make us feel safe. I made a room to look like my bedroom. I’m particularly proud of the little shelf I’ve made!
I’ve also taken up painting again after 7 years! It was easier than I thought to get back in to. Painting is one of the only things where I can completely switch off. I loose the sense of time and everything. It’s like magic and I’d forgotten how much I loved it.
This is my work in progress of a cute doggy…
I had an appointment this week with my psychiatrist which resulted in me now taking the maximum dosage of my meds (spaced out ttm) and being left really confused about my treatment. I’m not slating the NHS as a whole, it does fantastic work and I’m grateful, but the lack of treatment I’ve received has been terrible. I am just constantly told to wait and the waiting is just making me feel worse!
Hopefully I’ll hear soon…