Fuming more than an angry emoji

But I’ve put some pretty flowers on my bike…


I haven’t written a post for a while because I honestly haven’t been in the mood. I’ve had a few weeks of just thinking that no one will care what I’m writing about but that’s not why I’m doing this, so here I am again with another post.

I’m a bit pissed off at the minute to put it mildly. Since my diagnosis last month, I’ve just been treading water. I’ve bought a few self help books and I’ve been reading about other people’s experiences but it’s not really cutting it.

Since my initial assessment I have heard nothing from my local Community Mental Health Team. I’ve rang three times over the past week with the promise that someone will get back to me about where I am on the waiting list / next steps. They still haven’t rang me.

To be honest, this is making me feel worse as I feel completely ignored and failed by the service. I know there’s a strain on mental health services but come on, they can at least return a phone call, or three…

It’s no surprise there is a mental health crisis right now when no one can get any help.
I want to get back to work eventually. At the minute I just feel like I’m in groundhog day the film, just waiting everyday to hear what’s going to happen.

I’m still seeing my lovely friends but during the week it gets quite lonely and I miss the routine of work even though I know I’m not well enough to go back yet until I get specialised help. I’m on a hamster wheel (I can’t run like a hamster though – I lasted two minutes during a morning of inspiration when I decided to go running)

Before my referral to secondary care, I was on the waiting list for Talking Therapies. I’ve been on that waiting list since May 2018 which is totally unacceptable. So I have now gone 9 months without any support from the NHS other than medication. No wonder people get worse.

I know from speaking to some of my friends who have waited for similar support that they have had to wait one whole year for treatment and have been ignored by the service during a crisis.

I have contacted my local MP this week who responded to me straight away. I’ve signed a patient consent form so that he can contact the NHS on my behalf so I’m hoping this will be a big help for me.

There really needs to be some drastic changes with current mental health services, especially within the North East. It’s a massive problem that needs addressing.

When I get myself into recovery (eventually!) I’m thinking of becoming some kind of mental health advocate to really push for better care as it’s something I’m now really passionate about.

I’m sorry about the rant! It has been good getting it out of my system.

I’ll write something more positive next time 🙂



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